Why Your “Why” is Everything


The most important part of any healing journey is nailing down your “why”.  

What does this mean? 

Say for example, you want to lose weight.

“I want to lose 10lbs because I want to look good in my jeans.”


“I want to lose 10lbs because I know I will have more energy.”

What’s the difference between these two “why’s”? 

The first “why” is oftentimes motivated by societal pressure and infers that you are somehow less than if you don’t fit into a certain size.  Is wanting to look better in your jeans a bad thing?  Absolutely not!  Go to it!  But soften that goal with self-love, grace and a deep understanding that your desire to look better in your jeans comes from a place of healing and not of shame. 

The second “why” is about your ability to show up in the world.  You know that if you had more energy, you could be more present with your spouse, and have more patience with your children.  You know that if you had more energy you could workout a few days a week which is a major stress-reliever for you.  This “why” is truly motivated by love.

Self-love is hard to come by.  And, it always wins.  

What is your “why”? 

Write down what society tells you, you should be.  Write down those nuanced and insidious voices that make you feel badly about yourself, and frankly, make you want to give up.  Get that shit down on paper so that you can see it for what it is.  

Write down all of the reasons why you want a better life for yourself, and how your self-care is a direct link to getting you what you really want.  

Write down why self-love can be hard to come by sometimes, and how negative self-talk is impeding your progress.  

Finally, sum all of this up into a few concise sentences.  Share it with the people who will support you.  Put this up in a conspicuous place so that you don’t forget your process, your why and your path forward.

Leave a Comment

About me

About Ishbel

For the last twenty years, I have helped people take charge of their health and feel better. I have been in your shoes - sick, tired, and overwhelmed by how to actionably care for myself. If you want to feel better, but don't know where to start, you've come to the right place. Learn More >


Sign up for my monthly newsletter for health and wellness tips!

Please enter your name.
Please enter a valid email address.
Something went wrong. Please check your entries and try again.